


Gain And Loss

by tielan



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, Growing Up, Missing Scene, Snapshots, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:46:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5588209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tielan/pseuds/tielan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Freedom can be wonderful or terrifying. Sometimes it's both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gain And Loss

**Author's Note:**

> For the [Star Wars Fic Fest](http://igrockspock.livejournal.com/365678.html) over at igrockspock's LJ. The request was _Rey - 5 first times_ and it didn't have to be smutty.

The food at Maz's was different, new - but this? This is...something else. She doesn't have words for it, because she doesn't know what it is, except she's never had anything like it. It's the texture, the sweetness, the flavours—

Poe tilts his head at her; eyes twinkling. "So, should I leave you and the mango alone to be private, then?"

Rey pauses in the middle of licking her fingers of every last drop and glares.

* * *

_There’s a sonic cleaner if you prefer,_ Jess Pava said when she was explaining the controls to Rey. _The non-humans find our water too sterile for comfort, and sometimes people from desert planets don’t like bathing._

Rey stands under the spout for what feels like forever, running it freezing cold, then turning it so hot the steam fogs up the entire room.

She thinks she will never be tired of the feel of water against her skin.

* * *

Rey knows she shouldn’t ask, but the question burns within her: “Why?”

General Organa hesitates. “Would you believe because I feel it’s the right choice – both for the _Falcon_ and the search for my brother?”

“But I’m a nobody!”

“You’re the woman who defended BB8 when she could have given him up for a month’s worth of rations,” says Leia gently. “You’re the woman who defeated my son. You’re not nobody anymore.”

It’s so terrifying – the sudden filling of what was empty.

* * *

The knock on the door is Poe, with— “I thought you might want this.” He holds out Finn’s jacket, folded neatly. “I fixed up the holes, although it’s not—I’m not the best at leather repair.”

Rey swallows and half lifts her hands to take it before conscience intervenes— “It’s yours, though. Don’t you want—?”

“It’s his now,” the young pilot says. “And I’ll keep an eye on Finn when we move base, you keep the jacket. Deal?”

It takes her two tries to speak through her throat. “Deal.”

* * *

_He responded well to the bacta treatment_ , said the medic, patting her casually on the shoulder. _He'll make a full recovery._

Rey lets her fingertips brush Finn’s arm, wishing he would wake so she could say goodbye, tell him everything she’s learned, share what she’s experienced.

Leaving Jakku was easy – she was going somewhere.

Now, she’s leaving someone behind.

**Author's Note:**

> After thirty years of being a Star Wars fan, this is my very first Star Wars fic!
> 
> (The fanfic I plotted out when I was ten, where Luke turns to the Dark Side and Leia has to save him and the galaxy, doesn't count; I never wrote it.)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic]Gain and Loss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6287017) by [readbyjela (jelazakazone)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jelazakazone/pseuds/readbyjela)




End file.
